Anyone want a slave?

I've received two emails from potential slaves identically worded. I'm not interested, because I think its an email scam, but if ayone wants a slave try : esclavomuysumiso@hotmail.com.

The emails were apparently sent to anabeljohnstone@hotmail.com and Ann_onomiss@yahoo.com, although they came into my inbox. Bizarre!

The email reads (speling, punctuation and layout are as received):

Hello Ma'am
i am a slave , 30 years old. looking to serve a Mistress online, i
like bondage, humiliations, sotf to medium punishments, fetish,
spanking, worship, slavery, forced feeding, etc

i offer to be your online slave, receiving requests and task by
email , i will obwy the tasks and punishments sessions , i will take
pictures with a digital camera and send you the pics for your fun
and
amusement seeing me suffering and humilated for your own pleasure.

my toys list: shoe's laces, gag-ball, o-ring gag, nipples clams ,
weights for clamps, letaher gloves, full hood open eyes and mouth or
blind hood, spanking rulers, spoons etc

if you are interested in accept this worm as your online slave
please
reply my message Ma'am

respectfully , on my knees , kiss your boots

If that butters your muffin, have fun

All good things...

Well that was fast!

I'm single again! It was messy at frst but we're friends again. It wouldn't have worked out, but that doesn't stop me missing it.

We make better mischevious partners-in-crime than lovers anyway, so its all good.

Happy

Why am I happy?

There’s a young lady in my life who has just become a bit more than a friend.

Who is she?

I don’t want to jinx it, so no more details for now!

Cause and effect

At work we do a job that is subdivided into sections. Amazingly someone has only just realised that if you split the sections between different teams you can save on training. Both time and money.

Well technically it used to done that way. But some bright spark realised that if you train the staff to do the job start to finish, they can take ownership… blah blah blah. You know how organisations like to shake things about for no reason just to put something on the boss’s CV.

Anyhoo… Currently the first bit of the process (the easy bit) is being done by the newbies. Unfortunately they don’t seem to be up to the job. This means those of us doing the second section don’t have enough work, but still have to meet our trgets.

Common sense suggests taking a few of us and putting us on the newbies teams to either help out (most problems are not incredibly complex and can be solved by someone with a bit of familiarity with the system), or even to do some of the work ourselves to boost productivity.

I actually volunteered to help out without a bonus. (OK so there were the twin ulterior motives of getting away from our fascist overlord, and getting some easy work or a bit).

But no. The geniuses in charge decided to send the super-experienced veterans to help the newbies with their problems. And so to solve our problem of no work, they’ve given us the shitty work from another centre (which would be better cleared by those super-experienced veterans as we haven’t a clue what to do!)

Cue more people leaving and lower morale…

Sugar Rush

Just been watching Channel 4’s Sugar Rush, apparently its based on a book by Julie Birchill, but I’ve just been watching it.

It’s so sweet, well bittersweet really. The main character Kim is just so sweet. She’s a really sympathetic figure (except for causing the accidental death of a dog). Anyone who has loved someone they can’t have will empathise, not just lesbians.

Last nights episode, where Kim confessed all, was really touching. Unfortunately Channel 4 spoiled the end of the current series (admittedly repeats), by running a trailer for the new series coming this month.

I won’t spoil it for anyone watching along, but just the location of the trailer gave away what will ultimately happen between Kim and Sugar. Bah!

I’ll still keep watching, I’m just a bit put out that’s all.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

So it turns out that the girl I was really interested in, actually did like me, but was keeping a distance because she thought I was just a flirt, and a mutual friend had told her to back off!

Bloody interfering "friends"! Now she's 200 miles away, and seeing someone else.

Damn my "friend" and damn me for being so shy the girl didn't notice.

We kissed on our second meeting and I wished I'd pounced then. Dammit all to hell!

As she'll read this I'll just say "If it doesn't work out with your new boy, you know where I am. If I'm coming to visit you, I have no reponsibility to our mutual friend, and we can see how things go properly."

Isn't love complex?

With apologies to Dona Summer

Well I seem her every morning in the schoolyard
when the schoolbell rings
and when she passes in the hallway
well she doesn't seem to notice me
She's got a crush on my best friend
but he don't care, 'cause he loves someone else
I'm standing on the outside, not the inside where I wanna be

Love's unkind, love's unkind
love's unkind, love's unkind
'cause she's not mine

Just the other day I was praying that she'd give me a chance
hoping she would choose me for her partner
for the high school dance
I was standing outside the class
but it wasn't me, but my best friend, she asked
I went running back inside teary-eyed
and left the two of them behind

Love's unkind, love's unkind
love's unkind, love's unkind
'cause he's not mine

Spoken:
Oh, how I love her, but I can't even let her know
'cause she loves my best friend
but he don't care, he loves someone else
and I asked my mama, and she said: love's unkind
love's so unkind
She said: just keep it alive
'cause you may find love's unkind

Love's unkind, love's unkind
love's unkind, love's unkind

Spoken:
Oh, Why did I have to love her so
why did I have to love her so

Welcome to Hell

As if our office wasn't already as much like a circle of hell, we've had our air-con break. Naturally when we called them they suggested opening windows in the mean time.

Unfortunately some brain-donor architect decided to make a building where the windows cannot be opened so as not to break the air-con.

Fantastic! Now we are stuck in a greenhouse, and because the building is East/West facing we have permanent sunlight. And because some idiot set up the desks wrong we have to have the blinds shut or we can't see our screens.

Which means the light is insufficient to see with, so the lights come on.

So to summarise:
Permanent sunlight through huge glass windows.
Insulating blinds.
Fluorescent lights.
Hundreds of computers and printers.
And a broken air-con

Mix this with a computer system that doesn't work, and excessive bureaucracy, and you have Hell!

Night Terrors

I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. As I was standing there I went dizzy and collapsed. When I was "with it" again, I was on the floor with one arm in the toilet (eeew! but hardly my main concern).

When I'd calmed down a bit I called my mum's boyfriend (the only reliable driver I could think of) and they both ran me up to Accident and Emergency.

After what seems like hours, I got a blood pressure and blood sugar test a once over with the stethoscope, and the thing where they shine lights in your eyes, and get you to follow their finger with your eyes.

Turns out it was just that I wasn't getting enough blood to the brain - kind of an extreme form of when you stand up too quickly and feel dizzy - but with the bruises being on my ribs and near vital organs, and the panic of being alone and worried, it just made it worse.

I'm good now, but I'm going to get as much mileage as I can from showing off the bruises!

"Can everyone stop getting shot?"

Yesterday we went paint-balling. I'm glad I did it, but I don't have any plans to go again.
Don’t let anyone tell you it doesn't hurt - I have four fantastic bruises on my chest, and a great big welt on my left arm!

It was fun though. Tension, panic, hearing the balls ricochet off your cover, it’s all good.
My crowning moment was defending the red base from five blue guys after my mate's gun jammed. I took three down before I got clipped (by a coward firing blind round a corner!). Unfortunately, when the marshal confirmed I was eliminated, I stood up with my arm in the air to show I was out. I then got hit by four shots, prompting me to yell "I'M DEAD! STOP SHOOTING ME!"

We were supposed to be going out in the city afterwards, but to be honest I was shattered, so I went home to get a good nights sleep...

Two horse race

I've just come back from the polling station, and I'm disgusted that I had to spoil my ballot paper.

We only had two candidates, Conservative and Labour.

I dont want either. If it was a true democracy, not only would I be able to state my displeasure, but I'd also be able to nominate who I'd like to see on the council.

Remove the standing fee, and then lets see who'll win - Tony's Cronies, the Right Wing Fogeys, or Fred who drives the minibus for the local daycare centre?

I'll always vote for the underdog, even the Liberal Party. Lets give somebody else a chance to screw it up for a change.

EXCEPT the jizm monkeys at the BNP. They can go hang.

I can't feel my face!

I've just had two fillings (ouch!) and thanks to the anaesthetic I can't feel the left side of my face.
The numbness goes from my top lip to the corner of my eye, which also means when I blink I get a twinge.

I also cant have any hot food till the numbness wears off, and no hard food for 24 hours. I'm going to have to let my cereals go soggy tommorrow morning!

And I can't smile properly.

At least I can talk...

Hello nurse!

Fear me - I now have a baby-pink leatherette nurses dress and hat!
I'll need to shave my cleavage, as its a bit low cut, but it looks fantastic. And all for the bargain price of five English pounds. Hooray for end-of-line shops!

I'll have to get a pair latex gloves and practice some "Carry-On" type phrases...

Now which patient wanted the "hot beef injection"?

Future plans

Off to Leeds in a few weeks time. More Wendyhouse, but less crossdressing. Might be a bit of cosplay though. I should fit in with all the EGL/EGA crowd if I turn up as Tuxedo Mask.

[practices throwing roses]

Movie Mania

We love ASDA! Ater food shopping I looked at the DVD aisle, and came away with Final Fantasy VII:Advent Children, and Night Watch, both in double-disc editions for under £15 each. Yay!

edit: One of the characters in Advent Children has the FF7 "won battle" theme as a ringtone!

RPG deluge!

I was suposed to be going to a gig last Friday, but the guitarist broke his finger (ouch). Instead I wet to see my gaming buddies and came away with a car boot overladen with roleplaying books!
I've passed the Battletech stuff further down the food chain, but now I have Shadowru goodness, and my own copy of Call of Cthulhu! Woo!

[reads Cthulhu]
[loses marbles]

Forbidden Fruit, or something

Wow! Some friends have declared me "off limits" to a very sexy young lady in my acquaintance!
I'm forbidden fruit!

I hope she doesn't listen to them though.

[daydreams]
[sighs]

Boys will be girls

E4 have got a new show preniering, "Boys Will Be Girls" in which they get a bunch of washed up boyband members still desperate for fame, and persuade them to become a girlband. They'll then have to fool a studio audience.

But the big question I have is "Is this a semi-serious look at fame, gender, and desperation?" or (more likely) "Is this a Space-Cadets style prank meant to make guillable and desperate has-beens look foolish on TV?"

I'm hoping the former...

Press release reads as follows

In this brand new entertainment show, former 80's pop star Nathan Moore, who was once in bands World's Apart and Brother's Beyond, teams up with music industry guru and former head of A&R at Sony International Olivier Bezardi to try to pull off one of the most bizarre and funniest stunts in pop history: passing off a bunch of male ex pop-band members as a brand new girl band.

The road to pop fame is littered with casualties but how far will a fallen boy band star go to be famous again? Will the boys be desperate enough to act like girls, perform like girls and, of course, dress like girls in their quest to reclaim their former celebrity status?

In the first episode, Nathan and Olivier raid the industry scrapheap and invite suitable - and hopefully willing - boys to audition. As the lads give it their all, it becomes obvious how hungry they are for another bite at the pop cherry. But the boys have no idea about Olivier and Nathan's audacious plan. Finally they shortlist the four boys they want. But will the boys want to be in their band?

Near Death Experience

I was driving to work on Monday morning when I was overtaken by red van with two extending ladders on its roof.

As it passed the white van ahead of me, the wind swept the ladders off its roof. They then turned so they were across the road and bounced towards us throwing up dirt and gravel.

Fortunately the ladders hit the van in front and bounced into the overtaking lane. Even so I was lucky to avoid them, and the white van which stopped very suddenly.

I was tempted to stop and be a witness, but it seemed to be fairly cut-and-dried, especially as the red van stopped too. I hope they sorted it out.

Back on the Chain Gang

I visited friends in Leeds over the weekend. It was great. We did shopping, goth/alt clubbing, duelling practice (swords), and even snuck in some Live Action roleplaying (Vampire the Masquerade). I also got to meet cool, sexy, interesting people, and get startled by a 1:1 scale dinosaur model (some sort of 5ft tall 'raptor wannabe).

And then I had to go back to work. With a computer system so bad there are official 'work-arounds', customers who only tell us stuff when we threaten legal action, and a management team that cares only about performance figures, not what they mean, or how they are achieved.
I was planning to go back in a few months time. Maybe I'll consider going back a bit sooner.