Singles Life

Back in the day there used to be three bus companies in this town. The Blue Buses were subsidised by the council and were fairly clean and fairly efficient. Eastern Counties were private run, served the outlying villages, but I always tought hey were a bit seedy, and then there was the mavericks of The Flying Banana. Shoddy, but incredibly cheap, and again they also served the sticks. And you could play bingo on them when they first started operating (yes really).

When Eastern Counties drove the Blue Buses out, and bought out the Flying Banana, they pretty much had the monoply so could dictate how local bussing was run, so when they recently announced they were stopping return tickets and only selling singles "for our customers convenience" no one batted an eyelid. It didnt even make the local press.

So I was incredibly shocked to find Central Trains doing the same, and then the girl at the train station said "everyone's doing it".

Do they really have that much contempt for the traveller, or is there really no competition to keep them in check. Or, conspiracy theory time, is it part of some grand Illuminati scheme to destroy public transport?

As a result I have to wait till Central sorts out their ticket structure before I can book my tickets to Transpocalypse.

Bugger!

Halloween Redux

I've removed the entry and pic of my Halloween outfit. Partly because I was unhappy with the pic, but also because it doesn't belong here.

This is Pandora's hideaway. Its a blog about her, not the guy that is sometimes her.

This Halloween I was in drag, but I was not presenting as female, and was not being Pandora.

The people I was with do not know about her, and to go full out would have given out the wrong signals.

By making a decent effort, but not going too far (ie using a joke-shop wig rather than my own hair) everyone got to have a good night but continue to live in their favorite Egyptian river.

If you know me well enough to have my email, feel free to request pics by mail, but I'm only going to post pictures of me presenting on this blog from now on.

Facial recognition

I'm a little baffled by some of the choices, but I'm quite pleased overall!

Performing Monkey?

I cancelled going to a party over the weekend.

Originally I was considering trannying, as there was some half-arsed attempt at fancy dress. But when I remembered the organiser couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery, I changed my mind. Having a date also changed it :)

Sadly my date cancelled (very good reason as it happens), and without her I didn't really feel like going out. You could also say it wasn't my first choice of location or crowd.

So when I texted the birthday boy, I got the following reply:

"That sucks man. I told everyone there was going to be a tranny at my party."

What am I? A performing fucking monkey? Am I free entertainment? At the very least I expect the going rate! If he brings it up when I next see him words will be had!

Danger Will Robinson!

I’ve recently been quite freaked out by the quality of voice recognition technology. OK so my Nintendo DS can recognise when I say four colours (blue, black, red and yellow) and the numbers zero to ten. I can accept this as they are phonetically diverse.

But yesterday I booked a hotel room for Transpocalypse via an automated system. It could recognise my name once said and spelt, it knew my address from the first line and postcode, but what freaked me out most was it recognising the city. They’ve hundreds of locations and it knew where I meant. It even read it back in that scary sub-American “you have been selected for a special offer” voice.

Scary, but better than the old days off,

“Cancel”
“You have selected delete.”
“No. I said cancel.”
“Deleting all work. Are you sure?”
“NO!”
“You have confirmed deletion”
“Nooooooooooooooooooooo!”

Transpocalypse Then

So the Transpocalypse is in Liverpool this year then? I didn't go to the last one, but this could be fun, and I've got some leave due.

I think I'll have to see if I can raise a posse (this means you Mr Eichmann!) of interested bloggers, and plan an expedition.

For more info see: http://www.beckysweb.co.uk/beckysblog/2006/09/its-back.asp

I'm Spartacus!

Score one for the bad guys. :(

The higher-ups at our organisation had to report to a Parliament Select Committee about problems with the way we work, and our IT. And what do you know, they lied and said everything was fine and the staff were to blame.

The good guys got some publically available data and presented it to their MPs who then raised the matter in the Houses. Boy did the liars look silly!

Except that the two who did the whistleblowing got punished, and the liars got away scot free!
Some staff in the office they came from staged a mass walk out today (hooray). But sadly we couldn't do it. Many of us have been on the receiving end of victimisation, and they're ust looking for an excuse.

If the union says "all out", then I'm but, but sadly I can't support a wildcat. Which is a shame, because I'm al for it in theory, its just a bit tricky in practice with the really crap job market right now.

I'm not Spartacus, honest!

I'm a f**king professional

I hate my customers.

Because of professionalism and our policies I have to say things like "No I'm sure you did", "I believe you sent the money in", "No I'm sure you're not just stalling."
What I want to say is "LIAR!", "I know you haven't sent the money", "stop stalling or I send in the bailiffs!"

They're not all like that, but you dont remember the good ones do you? That's because the good ones are quick, painless, and are over in a day or two, and the bastards hang around like a bad smell for months.

Breathe. Calm. Breathe. And relax...

Are you guys in a band?

Went to a multimedia performance art thing yesterday in Norwich. It was interesting.Some peices could only be described as self indulgant wank, or as I diplomatically said at the time "too challenging for my tastes". Others were clever, deep, or even funny - if you get a chance see two acoustic performers called Silent Monkey.

It was all organised by Mooncalf Curios, some sort of East coast artistic collective. It was interesting enough that I plan to go to their next event in November. I also want to hear the second part of the spoken word fairy tale.

Highlight of the day? Turning up and loking puzzed we were greeted by one of the organisers with, "Thanks for coming, are you guys playing today?" I've been mistaken for a number of things, but not a musician before.

But its wrong...

Worried about the legal aspects of my dressing up? Fret no longer!
Here's a scan of my licence:


(And if you want your own visit http://www.beckysweb.co.uk/)

Why would you do that?

I was having a coffee with fellow blogger Richard Eichmann today, and he asked why I did what I do, and how I identify myself as a T*person.

At the time I didn't really have an answer, and just mentioned places like The Angels Forum where we debate the pressing issues of T*Society, like what exactly the difference is between a transvestite, a cross dresser, and a gender-bender.

I've never really thought about it too hard, but I thought I would try to put down is words my own personal feelings on why I do what I do, but bear in mind that if you asked 10 trannies why they do it, you'll get 13 answers!

Some people cross-dress simply because they like the feel. I can understand this. Silk and lace have a nice feel to them, and women's cotton pants feel nicer than men’s cotton pants. There are also fetish costumes that mostly come in women’s styles such as satin maids outfits and PVC nurses uniforms.

So yes I dress because I like the feel. But that’s not the only reason. Although playing Twister in a miniskirt with a bunch of girls was a whole new ball game (no pun intended!)

Some people dress because they identify themselves more as female than male. Either they want to be a woman, or they believe a mistake was made by the doctor at birth (there are tales of hermaphrodite babies being made single gender in the delivery room), or maybe they just like girl stuff better.

Personally I identify myself as a healthy mix of genders. I wouldn't want a sex change in my current body, but I like discussing clothes and makeup, listening to Busted, and drinking Bacardi Breezers (official drink of the transgendered!) I also enjoy dancing far more as a girl - must be a self-consciousness thing! But I also like guns, action movies and Grand Theft Auto. So that's not the whole story either.

Some think women’s clothes are more interesting than men’s. Men's fashion is dull. Check any menswear department and you will find shirts and T-shirts, suits, sweaters, jeans, trainers, work shoes, and jackets. And that’s about it. Women have skirts, tops, dresses, Capri pants, culottes, hot pants, suits, lingerie, hundreds of different types of footwear, and more.

I think this one is a big part of it. Its not that only women’s clothes are more interesting, just that modern menswear is dull. I frequently dress in men’s fashions from the 1940 and the 1900s, because there is variety and style.

Some like to completely dress as women, for whatever reason. I think this is the biggest aspect of it for me. I like completely changing my appearance, though for me I try to present as realistically as possible. I don't want to dress completely as a woman; I want to look completely like a woman. I been clubbing a few times dressed up, and although I don't make a stunning woman, under night club conditions I've fooled bouncers, and made a bartender question my friends to prove I really was a guy (that felt amazing!)

Some people like to trick straight guys into dating them. This is one of the few I disagree with. Although I have flirted as a girl, it has only been with girls I fancied, and male friends who knew I was a bloke, and were just having a laugh. I'm not looking for a boyfriend, and if I was, I wouldn’t want to trap one on false pretences!

Some trannies just like to flaunt societies conventions - boys in dresses, boys in the ladies loos, boys having fun playing with dolls, or whatever.

I suppose this is also part of my rebellious nature. I really enjoy buying women’s clothes, partly because I want to wear them, but it’s also because it feels naughty and forbidden (even though it’s not really all that rebellious). I've also had the chance to see ladies loos, and in general they're much cleaner and nicer. Why are many guys in pubs/clubs messy pissers? Must be they can't handle their drink!

So what have we learned about me? I like playing at being someone else, and sometimes being a girl is more fun than being a guy. I also like to dress in an outlandish style, and women’s clothes are more available, and cheaper, than unusual menswear.

But am I a cross dresser, a transvestite, a drag queen (no, because that is a gay man dressing for showbiz), a gender bender, a gender-queer, a trannie, a tranny, a T*girl, an mtf (short for male-to-female), a transsexual (no, I'm not getting real breasts or losing my pecker!), or what?

I think overall I prefer T*girl (and sometimes T*Goth!), but as the community cannot decide on what all those terms mean, it’s still an open question.

What do you want?

(WARNING: This may sound like a whiny emo-kid ramble!)

A friend asked me and my social circle “What do you want to do before your next landmark birthday?” We went away and had a think about it. I think it’s the hardest question I’ve ever been asked.

I had one of those chats that go on till four in the morning with a close friend, and we discussed this. Hers were quite easy for her, including visiting a foreign country, joining the mile high club, and going to a music festival. Mine were much more difficult. Although I haven’t led an amazingly exciting life, most of her list I’ve already done (gone abroad), or wasn’t interested in (I’ve been inside an aeroplane toilet, so see no attraction to having sex there!)

Also, my interests have changed over the last few years. Asking me the same question five years ago would have brought out things like “Visit Japan”, something I’m not that fussed about now, as l only wanted to go for very shallow reasons that no longer apply. I’d have also included go out ‘dressed’ (done several times since), or held a snake (did a few weeks ago.).

There are a few things I want to do that really aren’t such a god idea in practice. For example I want a corset. But although this is great in theory, in practice I’ve got nowhere to wear it, I wouldn’t wear it enough to justify the expense, I don’t have the room, and I’ve no-one to lace it up. Several other require money I’m not willing to spend , or require a level of trust I’m not willing to make with the people I currently know (eg bondage play)

I think I have found maybe five.

1. Find a job I don’t hate (we all had this one first!)


2. Find someone I love, that loves me (vague I know)


3. Go to an Ann Summers Party (tricky with the no-guys rule, but we might be able to work something)


4. Have a food fight (location is tricky, but I’m sure I’m not the only one)


5. Regain my local fame (I used to be a big fish in a small pond, and getting that back would be enough)

But other than that, I don’t know.

There’s no where I want to go particularly and there are no specific sexual practices that I want to do enough to include (or share with my friends!).

I wish I wasn’t so aimless.

A Familiar Outing

*Jeff gets home from a night at Transmission to find his wife Sarah still up*
Sarah: Honey, we have to talk.
Jeff: Look its not...
Sarah: Honey.
*She gestures to the sofa. They both sit*
Sarah: You know we talked about shaving your legs...
Jeff: But it makes my legs look better, and the stockings don't snag...
Sarah: I know, we've talked about this. But is that the only reason you shave them?
Jeff: What do you mean?
Sarah: Well I was tidying up in the bedroom,
*Jeff begins to sweat*
Sarah: and I found a drop of oil on your trainers.
Jeff: So? That could have come from anywhere.
Sarah: And I found a pair of cycling shorts in the back of your wardrobe.
*Jeff breaks down in tears*
Jeff: Oh baby it's true! I'm a cyclist! I tried to fight it...
Sarah: Its OK...
Jeff: I just cant help it. I need to cycle. I tried purging, but you cant really fight it.
Sarah: We can get help. There are organisations. I've read aout this on the internet.
etc...

Bauer is God!

I've just been watching series four of 24. When will everyone learn that Bauer is always right? If they just asked Jack, everything would turn out fine.

Jack Bauer for president!

Or set him the problem of solving Lost, or the Middle East!

Bauer is God!

I've just been watching series four of 24. When will everyone learn that Bauer is always right? If they just asked Jack, everything would turn out fine.

Jack Bauer for president!

Or set him the problem of solving Lost, or the Middle East!

Anyone want a slave?

I've received two emails from potential slaves identically worded. I'm not interested, because I think its an email scam, but if ayone wants a slave try : esclavomuysumiso@hotmail.com.

The emails were apparently sent to anabeljohnstone@hotmail.com and Ann_onomiss@yahoo.com, although they came into my inbox. Bizarre!

The email reads (speling, punctuation and layout are as received):

Hello Ma'am
i am a slave , 30 years old. looking to serve a Mistress online, i
like bondage, humiliations, sotf to medium punishments, fetish,
spanking, worship, slavery, forced feeding, etc

i offer to be your online slave, receiving requests and task by
email , i will obwy the tasks and punishments sessions , i will take
pictures with a digital camera and send you the pics for your fun
and
amusement seeing me suffering and humilated for your own pleasure.

my toys list: shoe's laces, gag-ball, o-ring gag, nipples clams ,
weights for clamps, letaher gloves, full hood open eyes and mouth or
blind hood, spanking rulers, spoons etc

if you are interested in accept this worm as your online slave
please
reply my message Ma'am

respectfully , on my knees , kiss your boots

If that butters your muffin, have fun

All good things...

Well that was fast!

I'm single again! It was messy at frst but we're friends again. It wouldn't have worked out, but that doesn't stop me missing it.

We make better mischevious partners-in-crime than lovers anyway, so its all good.

Happy

Why am I happy?

There’s a young lady in my life who has just become a bit more than a friend.

Who is she?

I don’t want to jinx it, so no more details for now!

Cause and effect

At work we do a job that is subdivided into sections. Amazingly someone has only just realised that if you split the sections between different teams you can save on training. Both time and money.

Well technically it used to done that way. But some bright spark realised that if you train the staff to do the job start to finish, they can take ownership… blah blah blah. You know how organisations like to shake things about for no reason just to put something on the boss’s CV.

Anyhoo… Currently the first bit of the process (the easy bit) is being done by the newbies. Unfortunately they don’t seem to be up to the job. This means those of us doing the second section don’t have enough work, but still have to meet our trgets.

Common sense suggests taking a few of us and putting us on the newbies teams to either help out (most problems are not incredibly complex and can be solved by someone with a bit of familiarity with the system), or even to do some of the work ourselves to boost productivity.

I actually volunteered to help out without a bonus. (OK so there were the twin ulterior motives of getting away from our fascist overlord, and getting some easy work or a bit).

But no. The geniuses in charge decided to send the super-experienced veterans to help the newbies with their problems. And so to solve our problem of no work, they’ve given us the shitty work from another centre (which would be better cleared by those super-experienced veterans as we haven’t a clue what to do!)

Cue more people leaving and lower morale…

Sugar Rush

Just been watching Channel 4’s Sugar Rush, apparently its based on a book by Julie Birchill, but I’ve just been watching it.

It’s so sweet, well bittersweet really. The main character Kim is just so sweet. She’s a really sympathetic figure (except for causing the accidental death of a dog). Anyone who has loved someone they can’t have will empathise, not just lesbians.

Last nights episode, where Kim confessed all, was really touching. Unfortunately Channel 4 spoiled the end of the current series (admittedly repeats), by running a trailer for the new series coming this month.

I won’t spoil it for anyone watching along, but just the location of the trailer gave away what will ultimately happen between Kim and Sugar. Bah!

I’ll still keep watching, I’m just a bit put out that’s all.