Green fingers

Two weeks ago I planted a packet of seeds for a Venus Fly Trap. They were tiny little black things smaller than the grains of fine sand they were packed with. I didn't hold out much hope though. When my brother tried to grow one, the whole packet of seeds failed to sprout.

So the pot has been sitting on my kitchen windowsill in a plastic bag, in a tray of water for a fortnight. And I've just had a look at the compost through the bag. Looks like there is some green fuzz and a single green bud! It's tiny (about a millimetre) but it's poking up above the soil. In another two to four weeks it should be ready to come out of the bag. Maybe even to re-pot, who knows.

I'm actually quite excited about it.

There will be pictures once it's out of the bag.

I can haz qualifications?

Apologies for the lolspeak, but I now have confirmation that I passed my NCFE 2* in Equality and Diversity. An actual, physical, certificate is ETA unknown, but I am now qualified to stroke my chin and declare, "I think this may be discriminatory!" :)

I've also started the coursework on my NCFE 3 (Managing Diversity). This comes with the cheering news that our E+D head honcho is pushing for us to get some (financial) recognition for our extra duties. Yay for us!

I think I'll pass on throwing my weight around on TG forums claiming to know everything about discrimination/human rights though. I've learned enough to know its a very tricky subject, and that it's always a good idea to seek further guidance before stating something as fact!

*=equivalent to a GCSE or NVQ2

Meh

Still not feeling chatty. But this made me laugh out loud:



It's even funnier if you imagine David Mitchell reading the caption.

...

Not feeling very chatty right now. Here are some videos:

"Let Love Be Your Energy"

I've been in quite a chipper mood recetly (Hi K x), so I thought I'd share the mood by digging out another music video that makes me happy.

Robbie Williams' "Let Love Be Your Energy" is quite an upbeat song, with a nice dip just before the end, followed by a triumphant key change with fanfare at the end. The video, mainly an animated Robbie running, is also quite amusing as he dallies with a number ladies before finding the right one for him.

And those of you in the UK and USA that have seen the video probably chuckled at the very twee ending that is subverted in the last few seconds by an eagle.

If you haven't, you can watch it here. Go watch it before you carry on reading. I'll be right here ;)



Back again? Good wasn't it?

Now imagine my surprise when I found a version labelled "uncensored plus out-takes".

The ending is completely different! Instead of running up the mountain, embracing, and plummeting to a heart shaped spalt, Robbie and his dream girl strip off, and embrace naked to a background of erupting volcanoes (very subtle lads!).

And the out-takes at the end are very funny (and quite painful!) Take a look:

CAUTION! Contains animated dangly bits, and a few rude words!

What d'you think about that?

Since everyone on the Trannisphere has gone all Introspective White Emo Ranger I suppose I'd better join into.

Now the evenings are lighter, I've been able to start walking to work again. Which unfortunately gives me lots of time to think. Today I was musing on something Lara blogged about.

On Saturday I went out in the city, and ended up in my local tranny-friendly pub en homme.

The place wasn't very busy, but none of the regulars gave me a second look, and apart from the barstaff, I didn't really interact with anyone apart from the friends I was with (we chatted to the smokers while waiting for a taxi, but that was it).

When I go as Pandora, I banter with the DJ, have a joke to the bar staff, and get random strangers stopping by for a natter.

As I thought about it more, I realised that whenever I've been in regular pubs, people mainly keep to themselves (with a few exceptions). But when I'm Pandora, even in provincial town pubs, people are mostly friendly, and many will come over for a talk. The guys to congratulate me on my "bravery", and the girls to have a gossip and ask where where I got my top or shoes from.

There are generally only a few tossers, and they tend to stay outside in large herds for moral support. Sadly one comment from this lot can undo a whole week of confidence.

Although being Pan makes my confidence soar, and allows me to be more assertive. I really need to dress up and go out more!

So what conclusion can we draw from this? Obviously:

"Trannies make every social gathering better"!

Top Ten Search Keywords (Filler post)

Just for a laugh I thought I'd sign up with Google Analytics and see how people visit this blog.

The top ten keywords that have sent people here are:

gsoh - Well it was a recent post title

tranny list - I suppose that's my cliche list

pandora caitiff - that mostly me checking in from other PCs :)

"list of gender stereotypes" - that cliche list again

best disclaimer - LOL. I know what that is

can everyone stop getting shot - Somehow I think they're looking for Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

flickr tranny fakes - More Joanne's crusade than mine

geisha tranny - One entry on one list. I guess there's not many of these online

goth icons - That's a test I did

helicopter to this canadian hideaways - What? How? Who

99 Things

I'm bored. And a friend did it...

If you join in, please leave a comment so that I can read yours.
Things you've already done: bold
Things you want to do: italicize
Things you haven't done and don't want to - leave in plain font

1. Started your own blog. Duh!
2. Slept under the stars. In a tent counts right?
3. Played in a band. A marching band no less!
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland/world.
8. Climbed a mountain. Mont Real in Canada
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo. Karaoke
11. Bungee jumped. No. But I have abseiled
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. Making hair falls
15. Adopted a child..
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train. Do we have overnight trains in England?
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person. American and Canadian falls
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors. Huh?
35. Seen an Amish community. Don't have them in this country
36. Taught yourself a new language. Gave up on Japanese
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. Its not money stopping me being satisfied...
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David in person.
41. Sung Karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt..
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted. Thanks to Helena
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkelling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theatre. Dont have them over here
55. Been in a movie. Home movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class. Judo and Kendo
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies. Not being a Girl scout...
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Been given flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood. Not allowed to. I'm a vCJD risk
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a cheque.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favourite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten Caviar. Ugh
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous. Paul Daniels and Mary Gentle
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby. Not physically possible
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swum in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a mobile phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.

Very Americano-centric. Most of the "don't wants" are also "don't cares"

GSOH

For my sins I am a member of a dating website. It's not been very helpful in finding my one true love, but it's free, requires no real effort on my part, and has fun quizzes, so I'm not going to complain.

I was quite annoyed when I received a love note from another user that was such blatant spam that it couldn't have been more obvious if it was signed by the exiled Nigerian Finance Minister.

I immediately reported it for the scam it was, and thought no more of it.

When I logged in the other day I checked my inbox and found this message's title had been changed to "A spammy message". Odd, I thought. I'm sure it was something else. So I opened it and found this message from the admins:

There once was a spam in your mail.
We delete all such things without fail.
They just want your money.
We don't think it's funny.
We wish we could send them to jail.

I laughed aloud for several minutes.

One of those review of the year thingys

January
Cold wet and boring. Nothing much happened to me

February
Once again my car drains my bank balance, but February marks the first time I visited the Catherine Wheel, and the first time I atempted cybergoth as Pandora at least. I also rediscovered my love of karaoke.

March
Yet more "fun" with my car, a bit of model making and participation in Gillian's Flickr Tranny Day (including some bad 80s fashions!)

April
New hairstyle time! I had five or six inches cut off the end of my hair and started wearing my hair in an off-centre parting with a barrette.

May
A very busy month for me. Several birthday celebrations, including my own (where I revamped my cybergoth outfit), but the big event was going out with the girls on a hen night!

June
After May I needed some time to relax, so again a month with not much going on. Although I did get to see a promotional copy of the sci-fi machinima Clear Skies with one of the voice actors.

July
Also fairly quiet. I saw some live music in my hometown's music festival, and I mused about Tranny Cliches

August
If August was an episode of Friends, it would be called "The one with all the weddings". I went to three separate events and was let down at one, and shocked by sexism at another. I also spent a week housesitting and looking after a cat, which was fun, but reminded me why I don't have pets. It is far too much responsibility.

September
My car let me down again. This time it was the battery finally giving up the ghost. But thanks to supportive and knowledgeable relatives we managed to get the car roadworthy again in time for me to attend another karaoke night at The Wheel with my friends. I also became a god-parent, and had to give a reading in a catholic church.

October
This month I celebrated the end of my first year in my current job (and therefore the one year anniversary of leaving my old hateful job!) I also celebrated Halloween as a voodoo priestess, and did more karaoke.

November
In November I released Kill It With Fire, a little solo dice game. This is my first step on the path as an amateur games designer. I'm currently working on a card game, and I've signed up for an RPG design competition on RPG.net

December
A month for ending and starting. I stated a course in Equality and Diversity for work (quite handy in the Trannisphere too!), and I ended the year with friends once again at The Wheel. Happy New Year girls!

Obviously a lot more than that happened, but that's what I'm willing to share with you lot! I wonder where 2009 will take me?

Recommended Reading

I got Cory Doctorow's "Little Brother" for Christmas.

I didn't really know much about Doctorow before I read this, apart from his appearances in XKCD, and mentions of his name in the same breath as the Electronic Frontier Foundation, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. However the premise of the book - tech savvy kids fight back when the DHS labels them as potential terrorists - sounded intriguing.

I read the first chapter after my Christmas dinner whilst in the reading room, and the only thing that stopped me starting chapter two was The New Doctor, and A Matter of Loaf and Death.

So last night I thought I'd just read a few chapters, and then have an early night.

I finished the book at 4am this morning.

You hear the phrases "unputdownable", or "I couldn't put it down" about books all the time, but this is only the second time I've experienced it (the last time was Nick McDonell's Twelve).

I highly recommend getting this book. And if you are feeling the pinch, you can even download it for free completely legitimately.

Spread the word

-P@nd0r4

Blue Rage!

Something that annoyed me the last two Christmases, and has now started to annoy me again is blue Christmas lights.

Seems fairly harmless enough. Just one of many colours of lights that people use for the large light displays on the front of their house, right?

WRONG!

There are two real problems with these blue lights, particularly when they are the only colour of light being used.

1) Emergency services
For some reason, these blue lights are the same blue as used by ambulances, police cars and fire engines. And if the house has any sort of obstruction outside streetlamps, trees or telegraph poles) the flicker of blue is just enough to add an extra thing to worry about when driving conditions are bad. Am I speeding? Do my lights work? Will I have to brake/swerve suddenly? etc...

2) My eyes!
The blue they have chosen also hurts my eyes. Its so far along the spectrum its bordering on UV and the frequency of light makes my eyes twitch. Grrr!

So in short, either dump these lights, or mix them with other colours to save my poor nerves and eyeballs!

Parenting fail

Disclaimer: this post is nothing to do with Shannon Matthews or Baby P.

I haven't had much to blog about for a while, so I thought I'd better post something to avoid rusting up completely. Here is a little tale about my neighbours, and their wonderful parenting skills.

As I left my home the other day, the couple I live next door to, were having a shouting match in the garden. He was standing in the doorway of their home. She was standing three or four metres away by the gate with their two young children.

Apparently the back story was that he had jokingly told the children that they were to have "wee and poo" for dinner that night. They thought this was hilarious.

She did not and proceeded to scream at him (in their presence), "You cant fucking tell them they're having wee and poo for dinner! They'll fucking repeat that shit at school!"

Awesome!

Kill It With Fire

As discussed in Identity Crisis I have been working on a little game design project.

"Kill It With Fire" is the name for my solo pen-and-paper game about maintaining a web presence while trolls try to bring it crashing down around your ears. Although it was mostly an exercise in design, it is actually playable.

The main design theory I was following was "system matters". The mechanics of the game had to be suited to the task at hand, practically as well as thematically. As play-testers have pointed out that the game seems repetitive and, at times, futile, I think I have captured the essence of holding back the mindless tide that is trolldom.

Kill It With Fire puts you in the role of a site-admin. Every day trolls assault your blog, forum, photo site, and even your personal life, but you have limited resources to undo their damage. You win by removing the last troll token on the board (representing . If at any point there are more than ten troll tokens on any one of your responsibilities you lose. Theoretically you could count the turns you survived before losing to compare your progress with others, but playing to a win or lose is usually enough.

You will need two regular six-sided dice and some counters (coins or tiddlywinks or fine) to play. The rules explain everything you need to know

Take a look and see what you think:

Kill it with Fire (File size 131K)

EDIT: File now located at Scribd.com

Braaaaains!

So Halloween has been and gone for another year. I hope all the residents of the Trannisphere were able to take advantage of the season fora spot of dressing up. I certainly did. But before I discuss that...

Wasn't Dead Set good?

I had high hopes for the show, as Charlie Brooker is consistently entertaining on Screenwipe. But I also had deap-seated worries, because I hated the Nathan Barley series but found him pant-wettingly funny on the TV Go Home website).

I wasn't disappointed. It was funny, scary, and nicely satirical. There are some issues that pop up in horror that I have problems with (the ending Frank Darrabont's take on The Mist pushed those buttons), but Dead Set ended in a way that made sense, and felt right. Obviously as an optimist I'd have gone for a open-ended Butch and Sundance ending, but that's just personal preference. And it's out on DVD soon for those that missed it.

So, Halloween. I went out Friday night to The Wheel again, for their Halloqueen karaoke party. It was also my friend Hannah's birthday, so any excuse to dress up!

After Chrissy had hijacked my favourite outfit for herself, and Hannah had laid dibs on my goth wig, I decided to go for the old PVC witch look (sadly not as cool as Becky's one from the other year, but good enough). Unfortunately, despite trying it o weeks ago and loving it, I tried it on again Friday morning and had a fashion crisis - it didn't look right and I hated it!

Instead I went for a different witchy look, and dug out my top hat and skull staff. And when I got to Chrissy's to change I found she had a skull pendant and a cool bone bracelet which I horked, and had a last minute change to voodoo priestess. Sadly my pics are a bit blurry, and others were rather unflattering, so unless you scour Facebook, you'll have to imagine!

The night itself was pretty cool, and I met some new friends Amy and Shawnie. Amy hadn't dressed up, but Shawnie made an awesome Priss (from Bladerunner), and we spent the night chatting about all kinds of things.

Which reminds me - sorry if I didn't give you enough of my time Chrissy. You seemed a little distant (I think understand why) and I felt uncomfortable bothering you too much. I hope you get things sorted out.

But overall it was a good night, and I got to sing lots (even though I started choking to death during Love's Unkind)

And finally, the best story of the night:

While we waited for a taxi, we stood outside the pub with the smokers. There were around ten of us, and a couple of us were pretty big people. Plus we were completely blocking access to the pub door, you'd have had to push past, or go completely around to get in.

Which is why we fell about laughing when a muppet in a passing car threw an egg and hit the bottom of the pub door, completely missing everybody! A guy in a vampire costume made the observation that it was probably the throwers vestigial sixth finger causing some top spin that made him miss :)

My new favourite webcomic

Thanks to some chatter on a forum I have discovered Shaenon K. Garrity and Jeffrey Channing Wells's Skin Horse.

Its got a sci-fi theme, but is set in the sort-of present, and is about a team working for the government dealing with problems caused by genetically altered sentients.

The main team consist of a sentient swarm of bees, a rehabilitated Victorian criminal robot, an intelligent talking dog, and a zombie with love of large calibre guns and mayhem. But it's Tip, the new member and token human, that sold me on the strip.

Tip is a psychologist and a crossdresser. He's also got bags of confidence and is a hit with the ladies. Which makes a nice change.

Check out this recent strip after he seduces a Black Ops scientist (Click on the strip to embiggen):



I spent last night reading the archives. Its funny, clever, and sympathetic to nearly all the characters (even the opera-loving mutant silverfish in the basement!) Its so nice to see a positive portrayal of a tranny online too. Especially when its not the central theme of the comic, just a character detail.

The archives start here

Identity crisis

We denizens of the Trannisphere spend a lot of time keeping our public and private personae separate. However I have found a problem with keeping Pandora and "Bob" compartmentalised online - my ego.

I've just written a little solitaire game. The kind that uses dice and tokens. It has a vague tranny connection.

The problem is who do I assign the writing credit to?

Assign it to Pandora

Pros

• No worries with outing myself
• Can distribute it via the Trannisphere

Cons

• Can't discuss the game in the gaming forums as I'm registered as "Bob"
• Don't get to add it to my portfolio of work

Assign it to "Bob"

Pros

• Can discuss the game on gaming forums
• Adds to my portfolio of work

Cons

• Tranny connection may raise questions
• Can't put it on this blog

I suppose I could co-credit it, but that may lead to an inadvertent outing. And besides it just seems weird.

Any suggestions?

"The nuts are complimentary"

Following on from my post on compliments (was it really as long ago as April? Eeek!) I'm going to postulate a theory:

If you want compliments (particularly as a tranny) find a group of really nice people, and get them drunk.

Last night I went out to my local gay-friendly venue for its karaoke night, and got one of the best compliments I have ever received, from a friend who had had quite a bit to drink.

My best friend Chrissy and her mates turned up half way through the evening, and Chrissy said that her brother and his new girlfriend were on their way too. I recently met her brother and we got on really well, so he was looking forward to meeting up again, and was interested to meet me as Pandora. I was also looking forward to meeting his girlfriend who was apparently "loud, American and a cosplayer".

When he finally arrived, Chrissy introduced him to me and all her other friends. Ever the gent, her brother kissed all the ladies present on the cheek and said hi. I was quite flattered that he was "playing along" and included me in with the ladies. Until he came back from the bar, shook my hand and said "We've actually met before haven't we?" :D

Later in the evening his girlfriend (who was exactly as described, but quite lovely) told me that while they were at the bar after doing introductions, he'd said that he was quite disappointed I wasn't there yet, and didn't know any of the girls he'd been introduced to!

Like I said earlier, he was rather tipsy by that point in the evening, but it still made me feel really good about myself.

(The title is from this joke if you were wondering)

Best disclaimer ever...

From The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen (Hogshead Publishing 1998):

Disclaimer: The words "he", "him" and "his" are used throughout this book as generic third-person singular pronouns. With this usage the author, a man of great gallantry, does not wish to imply that members of the fairer sex are any less likely to have astonishing adventures than their male counterparts despite their frailty, lack of education and great aptitude for giggling and fainting. He does not assume that flouncy crinolines and a décolletage like alabaster might make then any less able to engage in espionage against the French while disguised as a haddock, or that their extensive skills in needlepoint and household management would be anything but an asset when seducing the Empress of Russia. In short, he believes that in many ways women are just as brave, capable and interesting as men, and in occasional circumstances more so. Bless their little hearts.

(Quoted under fair usage as a review)

With a disclaimer like that how can you not want to read more? Heartily recommended as a rather interesting parlour game, and a damn enjoyable read.

Number 1: The KLF

I've been a bit negative recently, so this is number 1 in an occasional series of things that make me happy.

What Time Is Love America

Playing guitars, in armour, in a storm, on a viking longboat, the Justified Ancients of Mu Mu remind us what time love is:



Justified and Ancient

They're justified, ancient, ride an icecream van (make mine a 99 please), and persuaded Tammy Wynette to get involved in their silliness. I like to sing this one at my local karaoke haunt.



Doctorin' the Tardis

An early appearance under the name "The Timelords". This was my first exposure to Drummond and Cauty. An odd blend of The Glitter Band and the old Who theme.



More info on the KLF here