Monday, August 28, 2006
At the time I didn't really have an answer, and just mentioned places like The Angels Forum where we debate the pressing issues of T*Society, like what exactly the difference is between a transvestite, a cross dresser, and a gender-bender.
I've never really thought about it too hard, but I thought I would try to put down is words my own personal feelings on why I do what I do, but bear in mind that if you asked 10 trannies why they do it, you'll get 13 answers!
Some people cross-dress simply because they like the feel. I can understand this. Silk and lace have a nice feel to them, and women's cotton pants feel nicer than men’s cotton pants. There are also fetish costumes that mostly come in women’s styles such as satin maids outfits and PVC nurses uniforms.
So yes I dress because I like the feel. But that’s not the only reason. Although playing Twister in a miniskirt with a bunch of girls was a whole new ball game (no pun intended!)
Some people dress because they identify themselves more as female than male. Either they want to be a woman, or they believe a mistake was made by the doctor at birth (there are tales of hermaphrodite babies being made single gender in the delivery room), or maybe they just like girl stuff better.
Personally I identify myself as a healthy mix of genders. I wouldn't want a sex change in my current body, but I like discussing clothes and makeup, listening to Busted, and drinking Bacardi Breezers (official drink of the transgendered!) I also enjoy dancing far more as a girl - must be a self-consciousness thing! But I also like guns, action movies and Grand Theft Auto. So that's not the whole story either.
Some think women’s clothes are more interesting than men’s. Men's fashion is dull. Check any menswear department and you will find shirts and T-shirts, suits, sweaters, jeans, trainers, work shoes, and jackets. And that’s about it. Women have skirts, tops, dresses, Capri pants, culottes, hot pants, suits, lingerie, hundreds of different types of footwear, and more.
I think this one is a big part of it. Its not that only women’s clothes are more interesting, just that modern menswear is dull. I frequently dress in men’s fashions from the 1940 and the 1900s, because there is variety and style.
Some like to completely dress as women, for whatever reason. I think this is the biggest aspect of it for me. I like completely changing my appearance, though for me I try to present as realistically as possible. I don't want to dress completely as a woman; I want to look completely like a woman. I been clubbing a few times dressed up, and although I don't make a stunning woman, under night club conditions I've fooled bouncers, and made a bartender question my friends to prove I really was a guy (that felt amazing!)
Some people like to trick straight guys into dating them. This is one of the few I disagree with. Although I have flirted as a girl, it has only been with girls I fancied, and male friends who knew I was a bloke, and were just having a laugh. I'm not looking for a boyfriend, and if I was, I wouldn’t want to trap one on false pretences!
Some trannies just like to flaunt societies conventions - boys in dresses, boys in the ladies loos, boys having fun playing with dolls, or whatever.
I suppose this is also part of my rebellious nature. I really enjoy buying women’s clothes, partly because I want to wear them, but it’s also because it feels naughty and forbidden (even though it’s not really all that rebellious). I've also had the chance to see ladies loos, and in general they're much cleaner and nicer. Why are many guys in pubs/clubs messy pissers? Must be they can't handle their drink!
So what have we learned about me? I like playing at being someone else, and sometimes being a girl is more fun than being a guy. I also like to dress in an outlandish style, and women’s clothes are more available, and cheaper, than unusual menswear.
But am I a cross dresser, a transvestite, a drag queen (no, because that is a gay man dressing for showbiz), a gender bender, a gender-queer, a trannie, a tranny, a T*girl, an mtf (short for male-to-female), a transsexual (no, I'm not getting real breasts or losing my pecker!), or what?
I think overall I prefer T*girl (and sometimes T*Goth!), but as the community cannot decide on what all those terms mean, it’s still an open question.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
(WARNING: This may sound like a whiny emo-kid ramble!)
A friend asked me and my social circle “What do you want to do before your next landmark birthday?” We went away and had a think about it. I think it’s the hardest question I’ve ever been asked.
I had one of those chats that go on till four in the morning with a close friend, and we discussed this. Hers were quite easy for her, including visiting a foreign country, joining the mile high club, and going to a music festival. Mine were much more difficult. Although I haven’t led an amazingly exciting life, most of her list I’ve already done (gone abroad), or wasn’t interested in (I’ve been inside an aeroplane toilet, so see no attraction to having sex there!)
Also, my interests have changed over the last few years. Asking me the same question five years ago would have brought out things like “Visit Japan”, something I’m not that fussed about now, as l only wanted to go for very shallow reasons that no longer apply. I’d have also included go out ‘dressed’ (done several times since), or held a snake (did a few weeks ago.).
There are a few things I want to do that really aren’t such a god idea in practice. For example I want a corset. But although this is great in theory, in practice I’ve got nowhere to wear it, I wouldn’t wear it enough to justify the expense, I don’t have the room, and I’ve no-one to lace it up. Several other require money I’m not willing to spend , or require a level of trust I’m not willing to make with the people I currently know (eg bondage play)
I think I have found maybe five.
- Find a job I don’t hate (we all had this one first!)
- Find someone I love, that loves me (vague I know)
- Go to an Ann Summers Party (tricky with the no-guys rule, but we might be able to work something)
- Have a food fight (location is tricky, but I’m sure I’m not the only one)
- Regain my local fame (I used to be a big fish in a small pond, and getting that back would be enough)
But other than that, I don’t know.
There’s no where I want to go particularly and there are no specific sexual practices that I want to do enough to include (or share with my friends!).
I wish I wasn’t so aimless.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Sarah: Honey, we have to talk.
Jeff: Look its not...
*She gestures to the sofa. They both sit*
Sarah: You know we talked about shaving your legs...
Jeff: But it makes my legs look better, and the stockings don't snag...
Sarah: I know, we've talked about this. But is that the only reason you shave them?
Jeff: What do you mean?
Sarah: Well I was tidying up in the bedroom,
*Jeff begins to sweat*
Sarah: and I found a drop of oil on your trainers.
Jeff: So? That could have come from anywhere.
Sarah: And I found a pair of cycling shorts in the back of your wardrobe.
*Jeff breaks down in tears*
Jeff: Oh baby it's true! I'm a cyclist! I tried to fight it...
Sarah: Its OK...
Jeff: I just cant help it. I need to cycle. I tried purging, but you cant really fight it.
Sarah: We can get help. There are organisations. I've read aout this on the internet.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
The emails were apparently sent to firstname.lastname@example.org and Ann_onomiss@yahoo.com, although they came into my inbox. Bizarre!
The email reads (speling, punctuation and layout are as received):
i am a slave , 30 years old. looking to serve a Mistress online, i
like bondage, humiliations, sotf to medium punishments, fetish,
spanking, worship, slavery, forced feeding, etc
i offer to be your online slave, receiving requests and task by
email , i will obwy the tasks and punishments sessions , i will take
pictures with a digital camera and send you the pics for your fun
amusement seeing me suffering and humilated for your own pleasure.
my toys list: shoe's laces, gag-ball, o-ring gag, nipples clams ,
weights for clamps, letaher gloves, full hood open eyes and mouth or
blind hood, spanking rulers, spoons etc
if you are interested in accept this worm as your online slave
reply my message Ma'am
respectfully , on my knees , kiss your boots
If that butters your muffin, have fun