Friday, February 09, 2007

Nicky Hambleton-NO!

I watched 10 Years Younger yesterday. They had a guy on who was only 35 but looked like a cross between John Peel and Worzel Gummidge. However, when they finished with him I though he looked older, and I had a few issues with their techniques and opinions.

With the scraggy beard and long hair the guest looked like he was late forties. People confirmed this when they asked the public to speculate on his age. However, when they finished with him he was clean-shaven with messy hair, and had the biggest crow’s feet you ever saw – even bigger than Michele Collins. With his “Kaiser Chiefs” look, the crows feet and contact lenses (I’ll get on to that in a minute) he looked like Cliff Richards – actually 60/70 but trying to dress like his grandkids. And yet the public said he looked late 20s. Were they blind, stupid or bribed? And I wonder how he will manage his job as a rock DJ looking like an indie kid?

My second big hate was that they removed his glasses. As a glasses-wearer I hate it when makeover shows remove the glasses. Are they saying glasses make you look old? Ugly? Poor? With designer frames, rimless and half rimmed glasses available, this is a very lazy method of changing your look and totally undermines the confidence of a huge section of the population.

And then we have hair. I have long hair. I like it because the public and vapid style mags think short hair is “cool” and tell us men over 18 should not grow their hair. What can I say? I’m a rebel. However the “top stylist” on the show decided it had to come off, as they have done with every long-haired bloke who has submitted himself to a makeover show since the history of television. I say that if you are a “top stylist” and cannot find a suitable style or cut to make long hair work on a man, you are a mere barber fit for shaving and short back and sides. If all you can do is copy Heat and Vogue, shame on you, you pander!


Chrissy said...

I used to have long hair, well really, it was looooooong hair... and it caused me all sorts of difficulties, but I persevered until the hair had had enough, and just never grew back. Shame.

Nice rant, though. Ever thought about local radio?

Isobel said...

Local radio has a certain stigma attached to it, especially in this neck of the woods, due to a certain Alan Partridge...

As for the long hair, well, they couldn't let him walk around looking like a girl now, could they?

Pandora Caitiff said...

Chrissy, are you saying I've got a face for radio >:(

I used to write for the local rag, and I did a "talking newspaper for the blind" interview about a feature we were running, but I'm not really that interested in returning to the 'fourth estate'

You've got a point there Isobel. "Ah-ha!"

Lynn Jones said...

Long hair on men? Hmmmm. Some times it works (Anthony Kiedis) and sometimes it doesn't (Fabio, that guy from Reef, Peter Stringfellow).

Perhaps if it's in good condition, cut nicely and it's not heading south, it's fine. Failing that - chop it off.

Strangely, it can be the other way for women. Some women really suit short hair, others don't.

I didn't see 10 Years Younger, but the Kaiser Chiefs' look is hard to pull off. Unless you've got just the right physique for it, you'll look a right dog's dinner.

richard eichmann said...

This kind of shit (and it is undoubtably shit) is pure car-crash TV. It amazes me that there is even a demand for this kind of programming, but sadly there is.
This essay by a 1960s French anarchist makes some steps to explaining why:

Chrissy said...

nbzuChrissy, are you saying I've got a face for radio >:(

Nooooo!! Local radio is Where It's At, in terms of potential Interest.

Look. National radio has to appeal to the maximum number of listeners, so it daren't be too biased, polarised or, well, rant-y. Unless you listen to the 'Walrus of the Air' Chris Moyles, in which you need help...

Whereas, local radio has a lesser range of listeners so can go further. We need more ranting!
Unless you broadcast on t'Interweb...